Yellow pages advertising: a blast from the past

2010 was a simpler time, as there was only ONE place worth advertising: the phone book! This might have been my last year advertising in "the yellow pages." And I no longer advertise anywhere -- I've always found it distasteful, hence the simple, straightforward approach to my old yellow pages ad. But I liked this old ad; it always reminded me of Van Halen's Diver Down album cover.

Enjoy "Secrets" from Diver Down, and re-live the 80s:

"You know how sometimes, you got to run?

You're runnin' blind, but you jumped the gun."

Court-approved drinking mugs?

David Lee Roth, et al.

The judge in Racine County who allegedly threatened a lawyer with contempt for not having his shirt's top button buttoned has also issued special court-approved drinking mugs, according to a short story in the ABA Journal.  

What kind of soft, liberal nonsense is that?  Any hard-liner worth his salt would prohibit in-court hydration entirely!  I remember a "professor" at MU Law many years ago when I brought out my plastic water bottle in class.  He asked, "What are you going to do if you get thirsty in court? Pull out a water bottle?"  I replied, "Um, yes?"

He didn't find it humorous.  But neither did I.  Nor did he offer a better alternative to the time-tested H2O in a bottle.  He was indeed a hard-liner.  (He was also lazy.  Who gives a commercially available, multiple choice final in law school?  If you don't want to grade issue-spotter questions, at least make up your own multiple choice.)

In any case, I don't practice in Racine so I don't have one of those special, court-approved mugs.  And for you out-of-county lawyers who also lack the court-approved drinkware, but may be venturing into Judge Gene Gasiorkiewicz's court room in the future, The Legal Watchdog has obtained "inside information" that he will also permit you to drink out of a Van Halen mug.  

Don't research that.  Just trust me on this one.

Thanks for the music and the memories, Diamond Dave!

"Gimme a bottle of anything. And a glazed doughnut. To go!"

Songs like Jump and Panama elevated both David Lee Roth and his band, Van Halen, from mere rock-star fame to household names.  Unfortunately, the dust had barely settled after the Hot for Teacher video when Van Halen started to breakup.  The boys did eventually get back together—albeit way too late and for only one studio album.  But in the 1980s, DLR was king of the rock world.  After releasing four platinum albums that decade with VH, Dave minted another three post-VH platinum records before the 80s ended: Crazy from the Heat, Eat ’Em and Smile, and Skyscraper.  I’m no music historian, but being a hard-rock lead singer with seven platinum albums out of seven tries, in a single decade, no doubt puts Dave in a truly elite class. 

In any case, about a year ago, Eddie Van Halen passed away.  And now, DLR has announced his retirement.  Retirement is not death, of course, though Dave seems to acknowledge that the inevitable isn’t too far way when he said: “Hey Ed, objects in the rearview mirror are probably me.”  (Sounds like Panama-inspired words of wisdom: “right behind in the rearview mirror now!”)  But although DLR still roams the earth, it feels to me like another small piece of my world has died—or at least is slowly fading from existence.  For me, Dave’s post-1984 music was a big part of my life, and is now intertwined with memories of better days.  So to keep those memories alive, and to celebrate his solo career, here are some of my favorite songs from my four favorite DLR albums.

Recapturing my lost youth: Five underrated Van Halen songs

When Eddie Van Halen died, Electric Agora wrote that “EVH's death has brought back a recurring feeling I've been having since I entered middle age over a decade ago. The world I love is dying bit by bit.”  I’ve often had that sinking realization as well, not only after big events, such as the death of a parent, but also after far less personal events, such Van Halen’s passing.  I didn’t know Eddie Van Halen, of course, but his music is intertwined with my youth, with memories of better days.

The Electric Agora also saw a sliver lining in this reality of dying worlds.  When one’s world dies, “bit by bit,” there’s actually a consolation: when death comes for the individual, that person will be ready to go, ready to leave behind what little is left of his or her world.  That’s true and, at least for me, oddly comforting.  But in the meantime, having just passed a physical and dental exam with flying colors, I’m (most likely) not yet at death’s door.  I am therefore writing this post to enjoy an even better, though admittedly temporary, silver lining: I’m recapturing my lost youth by celebrating and sharing some of Van Halen’s most underrated songs.

Below are five such songs—one from each Van Halen (not Van Hagar) album, except for the band’s two mega hit records: the self-titled debut Van Halen and the band’s sixth album, 1984.  Those records achieved such success on every imaginable level that there are no overlooked gems, no hidden nuggets to unearth.  But their other five albums are goldmines of under-appreciated songs.  Here are my top five: