Bar Meetings: Drinking Tips from an Expert [updated for the 2020 KCBA meeting]

Back in the early years of my law practice, a group of Kenosha lawyers used to gather on Wednesdays after work for the weekly Bar Meeting, i.e., a meeting of the bar at a bar.  Our group was comprised of criminal defense lawyers and others generally interested in protecting individual rights and liberties from the government’s ever-expanding reach.  (Back then I would have described this general mindset as left-leaning, but today it is probably considered right-leaning.)  Unfortunately, these meetings dwindled and eventually disappeared because, I think, lawyers began to get older and marry and do other things. 

I never understood why anyone who practiced something as addictive as criminal defense would want to go on weekend jaunts to Bed Bath & Beyond, do home-improvement projects, go on vacations, read to their children, or do whatever else married people are supposed to do.  But to each of us, his or her own, I suppose.  In any case, children get older and marriages often crumble, so maybe it’s possible to bring back the weekly Bar Meeting. 

But in the meantime, the Kenosha County Bar Association is about to have its annual bar meeting.  Alcohol will be served.  To promote a more enjoyable bar-going experience, I offer these drinking tips from a true expert on the subject, Christopher Hitchens.  From his book Hitch 22: A Memoir:

A Lawyer Dog in Training

Photo by Brenda VanCuick

Recently, in Louisiana, when the police were interrogating a suspect, the suspect invoked his right to counsel by telling the interrogator, “Just give me a lawyer, dogg.”  The court — twisting and contorting plain language and basic legal principles to reach its predetermined outcome, as courts are known to do — found that such language was not an invocation of the right to counsel.  The interrogator simply would have no way of knowing whether this suspect was asking for “a lawyer, dogg,” or a “lawyer dog.”  One writer for WaPo observed: “It’s not clear how many lawyer dogs there are in Louisiana, and whether any would have been available to represent the human suspect in this case[.]”

Ignorance of the law is no excuse (unless you’re a prosecutor)

In this hot-off-the-presses case of State v. Smith (court decision here, On Point summary here), a Wisconsin prosecutor made an improper closing argument to the jury in an effort to win a conviction.  In a “sarcastic” and “belittling” manner, the prosecutor criticized the role of defense lawyers (in this case, public defenders) and also attempted to shift the burden of proof to the defense.  (These are two of the sleaziest, yet most common, tricks in the prosecutor’s bag.)  Then, on the defense lawyer’s motion, the trial judge declared a mistrial.  However, despite the prosecutor’s misconduct, the state was allowed to retry the defendant.  But why?  And how can defense lawyers prevent this from happening in the future?